One more hurdle!

Here is a quick update (and pictures!) on Lili. She continues to do very well. She is up to four pounds, 6 ounces. She has met 3 out of 4 requirements to come home. The last requirement is eating 75% of her bottle for all her feedings for 48 hours, as opposed to being fed through her tube. That's 16 bottles and apparently a whole lot of work for a little preemie.

If she would happen to complete that stage on her first try, we might be home as early as this weekend. But typically, they do really good one day and the next day they are tired so they can't eat as much by bottle. If they do not complete 75% of a bottle, on the next shift of nurses, they try again and the 48 hours starts all over again. With the previous stage of 4 bottles a day, for 48 hours, it took her three tries before she made the full 48 hours.

"I'm so tired!"

With that in mind, please be praying for strength and stamina and growth for her in this area. I would love to be home this weekend! But I also know when she is big enough, and ready, she will be able to finish this stage. And that probably won't go on my time table. And that may not be by this weekend.

Her first captured smile!

For me being here, some days are really good days and some days are really bad days. Regardless, God has carried us through three weeks already and will continue to carry us through until Lili is released. I am so grateful for her good health and progress, and for the support and prayers of everyone. Thank you so much!

LifeSong for Lili

I just realized I haven't posted on here for awhile!! I cannot access my blog at the hospital and it makes it hard for an update. I will do one with pictures soon. But know Lili is still doing great, she is up to four pounds, and is bottle feeding somewhat well.

Lili is still in NICU. But while she gets the medical help she needs, we are preparing for her to come home – forever! To be able to write those words sends chills through me. It’s been such a long adoption journey and it’s with a sigh of relief that the financial cost, the emotional turmoil, and the waiting and wondering related to adoption are coming to an end with Liliana. Notice I said the adoption aspects. We are just getting started in those areas with parenting!

We are so appreciative of your prayer and support through this process. Lili has done so well and continues to make progress with only minor setbacks. That is a huge answer to all your prayers. We will continue to pray her home!

One of the last things required to make our adoption final is our last payment to our adoption agency in the amount of $6000. This does not include any hospital bills for Lili’s stay in the NICU. We have already previously paid $9000 in adoption fees. To help defray some of this final cost, we are working with LifeSong for Orphans. They have approved us and set us up with an account through them. Any donations made for our adoption cost through them are tax deductible. Also, LifeSong does not take any administrative fees out of the donations, but all of it is passed directly on for our adoption costs. More information about LifeSong can be found at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org.

The goal date to receive funds by is June 6, 2012. At that time, LifeSong will write a check directly to our adoption agency (Generations Adoptions) for the amount of donations that came in.

We certainly don’t want anyone to feel obligated but we do know that God may prompt some to join us financially as we complete this long anticipated adoption. Some of you may want to give a donation to LifeSong instead of a baby gift. Financial  donation or not, we are so grateful for all your prayers and support. We know that we have already been blessed upon blessed by your encouragement and caring actions.

If you would like to make a donation, please mail your check to:

Lifesong for Orphans

PO Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St

Gridley, IL 61744

In the memo section, please write Braga #2790 adoption

*Note: In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.

Nine days old

Holding our little bundle

All bundled up

Daddy comforting while she flails her arms

Her new thing: peeking with one eye to make sure you are there

A lot has happened in the last few days. I see it unfold in front of me as hours and hours pass, and sometimes forget what updates I have given and what I have not.

Liliana is still doing really well. They took her off her IV because she was getting enough nutrients from her tube feedings. They continue to increase the amount given at each feeding and she continues to slowly gain weight. They switched her from a c-pap breathing machine to a high flow one (less invasive and it means she is getting closer to breathing on her own).

Next week if she continues to do well, they hope to wean her off her breathing machine and also introduce bottle feedings once a shift to see how she does. This is all great progress to getting closer to going home. She has really done so well, which makes me a little nervous at times, but I know God continues to answer all our prayers. Health wise, this has been such an easier road (so far) than I expected with a preemie. Keep praying!

The biggest highlight for me so far was that starting Friday morning, we can now hold her twice a day for an hour at a time. Holding her for the first time brought up a lot of emotions for me, and I wrote about that here, for those of you who are interested. (http://everymindisitsownworld.blogspot.com/2012/04/restoration-and-redemption.html) Joa got to hold her for the first time yesterday morning. That makes such a difference as most of the time we can only wait and wait and wait with her.

Hoping you have a wonderful Easter with your loved ones!

Restoration and Redemption

I don’t think my emotions are ever going to be the same for awhile. And that is probably a really good sign.

I stood over Liliana this morning, filled with emotions I am not sure I can fully name. Love, hope, joy. And restoration and redemption.

I thought back through our adoption journey. It was April 7, 2007 – Easter weekend – that I had the surgery that changed everything. How interesting that God planned for this dear little child to be born five years after we found out we would not be able to have children.

God has shown His tender love for me these past few Aprils, a time when I usually tend to be remembering the loss of our dreams of children. Right or wrong, when we found out I could not get pregnant, that loss has felt to me as big as the loss of a loved one. The pain comes and goes, fades with time, but you will never forget.

I don’t grieve the fact (anymore) that we can’t have biological children. I grieve the fact that adoption can take so long, be so hard and cost so much. I thought I was ready to be a mommy a good five years ago, if not before.  I cringe if I think about how long adopting a second child might take, though we have learned so much and will probably take a different route next time.

I don’t know why God brought Ethan and his family into our lives for a short time two years ago. I don’t know why we have had to wait so long. But maybe, today, as I gaze at Liliana, I see bit and pieces of what God has been doing.

Personally, the last three years have held a lot of healing and growth for me. As much as I would have loved being a mommy, God’s timing allowed me to have time, energy, and resources to work on the areas in my life that were not well.

Even the timing of Lili’s earlier than expected birth was interesting timing. While we were at my grandma’s funeral, although we grieved her loss, we celebrated the possibility of new life into the family. My brother had even gone so far to say – in a different context – that children are what draws our family together when we are at a family gathering. I thought of how the news of Lili – still unguaranteed at that time – brought out celebrating and excitement. Our family can tend to be quieter, more reserved, and not necessarily filed with emotion. But they were excited. I think I even heard a squeal of delight from my aunt. They wanted to celebrate and be a part of this joy.

It made me think that God really knows what He is doing. God will use dear Liliana’s story in ways we don’t know now, maybe to bring more restoration and redemption. That is the story of adoption – our adoption of Liliana, and God’s adoption of us as children. We even celebrate the birth of another baby long ago, who on this weekend, took on our sins so that we could be adopted into the family of God.

Yes, God really knows what He is doing. It’s nice to sit back, see the glimpses He has given me, and just smile. A really big smile.

Happy Easter, everyone!

P.S. A blog with Lili’s updates is coming very, very soon.

Thankful Thoughts

I have had bad moments, bad nights, bad mornings but I am grateful for a lot and wanted to share.

1. The fact Liliana is alive. She is down to 2 pounds which was really hard for me to hear. But she is stable and she just needs some time plus the help the NICU is giving her.
2. Joa being here. Life is just better with him. That is why I married him so life could always be a bit better. He makes me smile so much.
3. Semi-peace and quiet together as a family. The comical part (for those of you who have been in NICU before) is that although the lights are dimmed and people talked in hushed tones, there is always something beeping. But I loved our time together.
4. A nice hospital. I really like it. It has a lot of windows, plants and flowers, and comfy couches. Your atmosphere really does make a difference and this hospital has a great one.
5. The ability God gives (I don't always take) to live one day at a time. Today was a really good day. But I start to panic if I think about doing this for seven more weeks and six more days.
6. Nurses who are competent and friendly. (I have loved our nurses)
7. For a poopy diaper (and that would Liliana's, not Joa's or mine). My dear sister-in-law says you become thankful for things you never thought you would.
8. For all the people praying and caring and asking and helping. God has been faithful through his people.

Thanks for all your support!

It is official - we are parents!

Curled up and sleeping

Today we finally signed the adoption papers so everything is official. It feels quite surreal to finally say we have a daughter. Or to say we are parents. We are very grateful to Irene, who lived seven months in sacrificial love both for Liliana and us.

Liliana lost some weight today and is still having problems breathing. She has a little jaundice as well. The nurses have been very helpful and are taking good care of her.

Please continue to pray specifically for her to be able to breathe on her own and eat on her own. That is a huge part of her battle. Please pray for Irene, the birthmother, for continued comfort and peace. We had a good talk with her before she left the hospital. Please pray for us as we navigate basically living in two cities for now. Pray for safety as Joa travels back and forth on weekends, and juggles work and school.

Many of you have asked what we need. We don't need any baby items right now; we will have a shower when we bring her home. If you have any restaurant gift cards lying around you won't use, we would probably use them. All the nurses have said she is a fighter so hopefully it won't be the full eight weeks but we need to be prepared for that long.

Thanks for walking this journey with us!

Liliana Maria Braga

 

Liliana Maria Braga

Some of you have updates from facebook, some of you don't. Sorry this is coming so late but I am still technologically challenged on the IPad. :)

I sat all morning with no news. I could tell you all were praying because the usual anxious fearful Connie was pretty calm all day instead of worrying about all the what ifs. It was a LONG day of waiting and waiting and waiting some more. Finally at 1:15 I got a call saying everything had got pushed back that day, and they were just now going into the c-section.

I finally got to see baby girl, now named Liliana Maria Braga, around 3:30 PM. She is in an incubator, on a respirator with tubes all over. I was a little sad to see all that attached, but then realized she is alive and well and so I am glad regardless. She is 3.25 pounds but was much bigger/longer than I thought she would be. I thought she weighed more because although she is small, she is not tiny. She can't be held now but maybe in a few days.

The nurse practitioner said she is doing well for her age. They usually expect preemies to stay in NICU until their original due date, which is 8 more weeks. Selfishly, that was hard for me to hear, imagining the long two months away from home. But I will keep praying for her to mature quickly and while I am here, know God has me here for His reasons. I want to be aware of what He is doing here, and join Him in what He has for me here, instead of being focused on my own comfort.

The next big event will be Sunday afternoon (or Monday, it depends on how the birthmom is doing) when we sign the papers. That would start the legal process, and give us full parental rights. Things seem to be headed in that direction, but there are no guarantees until the papers are signed. I will breathe a little easier after that is done.

Thanks for all your support and encouragement! It means so much to us!