House: Part One of ?

I am finally back. It’s been about three months and that was the time when we bought our wonderful first house, only to discover within the first few days and have confirmed within the first month that our newly remodeled beautiful house needed about $20,000 worth of repairs on the foundation and the sewer line.

It’s been quite a journey. It was pretty tough there for a few months. We went through a range of emotions, a range of solutions, and finally sought a lawyer’s assistance. That is another whole story I don’t want to tell at this time.

But what God did spiritually in these last three months is a beautiful story I can’t help but share. It’s a story of redemption and restoration in our hearts, one that I would love to say for our house someday (and Lord willing, someday very soon). It did not come at a low price. But how often is something with little cost actually valuable?

There are many things He brought out of this situation, too many to share in one story. But two things that stand out to me are peace and thankfulness. For a girl who grew up and lived most of her life in fear and anxiety (without really realizing it), peace is a huge refreshment and thankfulness is a great bridge to that peace. The world will never be what I want it to be, my house will never be what I want it to be, my life will never be what I want it to be. Because I want perfection, and there is none on this earth. For so much of my life, I thought that only perfection could bring me the peace I longed for. And so I controlled and manipulated and fought for what I thought was perfection, so that I could be at peace. And 32 years of experience says this never brings peace, even when I get the circumstances I thought I wanted.

But God is working, always working. He is bigger than my circumstances and problems. I have peace in Him because He never changes. And because of that, there is a multitude of things I can be grateful for,  despite my gnawing circumstances that I have done all I can do about and yet are still unresolved. God is bigger than those circumstances, and He is my loving Father who wants to work in me what is best through them. They don’t have to cripple me emotionally or spiritually. God can use them to do the opposite, if I am surrendered.

So today I am thankful. I have a house with lights and air conditioning, I have a bed to sleep in, I have a husband who loves me, a dog who invites me to play with him and makes me laugh, friends who share life with me. I have food in the fridge. I don’t just have enough to eat for the next meal, but I have a variety of options to choose from. I have a backyard with comical and annoying squirrels that taunt our dog, but the backyard feels like retreat I can enjoy. I have a car I can drive that runs well. I have a job I can learn and grow at. And most of all, I have a God who I can always place my full hope and confidence in, who is always faithful.

There will always, always be problems in life but there will always be so much more I can be grateful for. God oversees all; the problems don’t overcome Him and His grace. And for that I am at peace and grateful for what He has given me.