Forgiveness Part Two

I wrote last week about where I was with forgiveness. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I ended with a prayer to God, that He would do something, that He would show up, and that He would help me forgive. Nothing magical happened. Nothing changed instantly. I actually struggled the rest of the week with it. I struggled with it on Sunday when a fellow church member was baptized and shared his testimony. He came from an abusive family and he shared about how when he accepted Christ, he was able to instantly forgive his family. Instead of his story being encouraging to me, I was a little bit mad about it. Why had not God granted me the same peace, the same forgiveness? After all, I am learning (slowly but surely) I obviously can’t walk in relationship with God alone. Really. I need God to help me walk with Him. I need God to help me forgive.

So I was praying about it on Monday, mulling over the next “step” (I am big on steps even though I am learning lately they tend not to work) to help me forgive. And as I prayed and asked God to help me, He did. He reminded me of truth that helped me make that choice. I said it last week and it is worth repeating. I am so glad we have the choice to forgive. That is offered to all but all do not take it.

He reminded me of what He offered me, the greatness of it. He reminded me that the gospel is about freedom and choice. Freedom from sin and the ability to choose what God wants over the sinful desires that weigh on our hearts. He made those possible through forgiveness, forgiveness He could only offer at great cost to Himself and to His beloved Son. Someone had to pay the price. Sin is costly. We can never earn forgiveness. We can never reach that bar of perfection. We can never make the scales equal out. Someone had to pay the price for sin. Jesus did. He satisfied God’s righteous anger towards sin so that we would not have to.

He suffered for our sin, He was beaten and bruised for our sin, He was in great agony for our sin. There is a scene in the passion where He is carrying the cross and stumbles. Mary runs up to Him, her heart breaking for Him, and wants to help him up. As she does, He says in the midst of His sorrow and great agony, “I make all things new.” There would be no forgiveness without the cross. There would be no freedom without the cross. There would be no choice without the cross. There would be no restoration to the Father without the cross.

I think of Luke 7:47, where Jesus talks about those who understand they are forgiven much will love much. I want His great sacrifice for me to affect my heart. I want to remember, as I struggle with forgiving others, how much I need to be forgiven, both by God and those around me. I am a sinner. I am offered grace and forgiveness; I want to walk in that and offer it to others. Not because they deserve it, for I certainly didn't, but because I have experienced its richness and depth.

That is what forgiveness is about. That is what God freely offered me at great cost to Him. That is the choice I can freely make in my own life, only because of what He has done. So it is fitting with Independence Day coming up, to celebrate my freedom because of the cross and my freedom to walk with my Father. As God reminded me of these truths on Monday, He answered my prayer. He allowed the anger, bitterness and hatred I had been holding on to drop away.